Who want's an amateur psychology lesson? No one? Tough shit, it's about to get heavy up in this bitch.
When people say something that they don't like "makes me so depressed" it's a medical inaccuracy, like when people say something being out of place "makes my OCD act up." For the record, people who get worked up about things like that, are fucking retarded, people exaggerate shit all the time, if you can't deal with that you might have a genuine condition of your own. Depression is not an extreme form of sadness it is an impairment of brain functionality. Think of this way, alcohol is a depressant, but doesn't just make you sad. Of course sadness is a very common symptom of depression, especially in females.
The way I feel, often without any reason, is angry and alone. As I write this I'm in the middle of the only significant down time during my exam season, so it's no surprise I'm a little frayed and burnt out at the moment. Take away a stressor and you enter exhaustion. (What's that? A diagram? Shit yes!) So naturally I'm in a temporary bad spot. My brain is not filled with the immediate threat of an exam tomorrow, panic leaving creates a vacuum that causes crazy to expand and fill the void. It's been causing me to act strangely bipolar (remember the exaggerations I mentioned earlier, this is one, that's not the condition I have) I'll be revising happily (well it's revision so not happily really) then I'll have the overwhelming urge to curl up in bed and fantasise about breaking things or hurting people. With the possible exception of my bathroom wall, I've not actually caused any harm with my anger yet, so that's all good.
One thing that annoys me is the logical coping mechanism my brain has started using. It's very hard to feel angry or isolated when you're in love, so that's become a big part of my resistance to my depression... Except I'm not in love, I'm single with no romantic interests. So two things have started happening. That weird, fluttering sensation you get in your chest when you look at someone you love? (Can someone explain what that is? Adrenaline maybe?) Well I've started getting that randomly, even when alone or midway through an exam, it's one of the most bizarre feelings ever and I have no idea how to deal with or prevent it, I just feel a little awkward until it passes. The second and more problematic love based 'coping' mechanism is to constantly and uncontrollably think about the people I've loved in the past... You know, the one who came out to me, the one who left me for someone else and the one who was never interested to start with? Yeah them. I admit, the constant flashbacks to my first (and all very vivid) memories of them always makes me smile, but of course my subconscious gets excited and starts shouting "And that was just meeting them! Think about how it progressed from th- oooh yeah..." Most of the time my romantic history is a fascicle comedy that always makes me giggle, when it's an attempt to alleviate feelings of loneliness however... It's less funny to me.
I have no way to end this post, so Imma just list some points made. Exaggeration is not a cause for offence in most cases, depression and sadness are not synonymous (Guess who spelt that right first try bitches!), the exhaustion stage of exam stress is a good time to go crazy, my brain isn't good at keeping me calm, I'm a dick to walls, my love life plays out like a badly written comedy movie. That is all, no go do something useful instead of reading my bullshit
Right, lets get this out of the way up front, I'm going to use the word nigger in this post. Some of you will be offended by this, some of you might even defy logic and label me a racist as a result, nothing is changed by that. I understand the historical prejudice attached to the word, but this is true of so many offensive terms and yet of the extensive list of these words, only nigger is condemned and censored/punished universally... Except it isn't, is it? Herein lies the issue, having a word that belongs to any one specific race is a racial divide in itself, and a catalyst for tensions to arise.
The simple fact is this: equality is not the same as reversing a prejudice. Taking a word used against a group and using it to define themselves, but forbidding anyone outside that group to use the word, is a form of segregation. You cannot logically argue with that, anything (be it a word, public office, right, or seat on a fucking bus) that is only for one subset of society creates a divide in that society. Saying that black people are the ones allowed to use the word nigger is akin to saying only straight people are allowed to get married: illogical, immoral, and the product of past evils.
Now sit the fuck down and pay attention, this is the important bit. I'm not saying that any use of the word nigger is ok, it is an offensive term with an especially dark past, but words like faggot, paki and the like are all (while rightly censored in a lot of public media) in common use. Not only gays use faggot, not only Pakistanis use paki. Derogatory terms are not acceptable in the context of purposefully attacking anyone for being different to you. Out of context however, the word is just that, a word, nothing more. People need to learn the difference between a word and a label.
In this post so far I have used the word nigger only 3 times before this paragraph, so one per paragraph. All of these uses are about the word itself, I have not referred to anyone as a nigger, or called black people as a whole "niggers," I never have done and never will (if you're about to type a comment telling me that this sentence is me doing just that... I'd prescribe a swift course of euthanasia applied via a back-flip into the grand canyon) because I understand the power that words have to separate and hurt people. This applies to the examples above among other terms, but that power to separate is shown just as much and I'd argue in just a dark light by splitting people into the groups "ok to say nigger" and "racist if they say nigger" based on nothing more than race. No one should be labled a nigger, and either no one should say nigger, or no one should be branded something they're not as a result of using the word.
Finally, regarding the event that lead to this post: I think that a rhyme with the line "catch a nigger by his toe" is inappropriate for use anywhere on the BBC, however veiled. That said, it's use does not make Jeremy Clarkson a racist and the whole thing has been blown hugely out of proportion.
Finally for real this time, there will be three types of people who react to this post: Firstly, those who agree with me, fairly self explanatory. Those who read this and take it as proof of my racism, these people are idiots. Then the ones I most want to connect with, people who disagree completely with what I say, but argue their case reasonably and respectfully. I accept that this issue is controversial and will remain so for generations I'm sure, so if you think that the word nigger should belong to black people, then by all means let me know why.
You tube likes top tens doesn't it? Well I like you tube and top tens, so guess where this is going! No I'm not just going to link you to YouTube and say "Go watch things!" Ok... I guess that technically did happen but shut up! The actual point of this post is to share with the world my 10 favourite you tube channels. Thats current favourites, the ones I watch all the time now, not all time favourites per se. Being my personal choices there are of course some shared themes that represent my interests, 70% of the list will be film and game related channels, two will be comedy channels and the last is... Well it's Laci Green's channel, representing one of my keenest interests. Right list time, I'll link you to the channel and put one of my personal favourite videos right here.
Ding! I love this channel for it's simplicity. In 60 seconds you get the back story to a video game, or the story behind it's development. They also have longer videos for fast facts: Easter eggs, story secrets, leaked information and such like. The channel covers everything from the birth of the RPG as we know it to modern games as soon as they come out. A constantly changing mix of animators, voice actors and writers mean that Lore is always feeling fresh while remaining true to it's mantra of delivering what it promises: Lore, in a minute.
Ding!.. I didn't realise there were two dinging channels at the end of the list until just now, ah well. Cinema sins works entirely on delivery, be it plot holes, continuity errors or just bad work by a member of the cast or crew, everything is simply pointed out and dinged. For reasons I can't really explain my favourite videos on this channels are the ones laying into to the films I love. Search through the archives of this channel and I promise that you'll quickly find one of you most treasured cinema memories, then love it even more as it's shown in plain witty English that no film is without sin.
Ah lets players, one of the simplest types of you tube channels there is, a guy (or girl, just a guy in this case) plays games and that's it, the good ones talk while they do it to differentiate themselves, some with a facecam, done. They can churn out videos at a rate most channels could never match, making lets plays a great type of channel for time wasting video binges. I know that Felix holds the top spot for his lets plays, but I've always felt Pewdiepie is too much of an invented character for my liking. Brad is not that, he's much more human and easier to relate to as a result. Plus lets be honest, Pewdie is generaly not that great at gaming, I do like to see a bit of progress in the videos I watch.
Arin 'Chinagan' Hanson is one of the most talented and popular animators and voice actors on the web. With over 1.3 million subscribers on YouTube and almost 20% more fans on Newgrounds than any other author, it's hard to imagine him going anywhere soon. Even today I keep finding out that animations I've loved for up to a decade have featured Egoraptor as an animator or character's voice. His unique take on video games in the Awesome Series shows his brilliant comedy and then Sequelitis displays the man's critical abilities and logic. A talent that shows that being a high school drop out can be the right decision for people with the talent and drive to get things done in their own way.
PBG has a channel dedicated to game 'reviews' the inverted commas being his own addition to the word as it's not the standard score, pros and cons, value for money and whatnot you get in a traditional review. The system is more akin to a highlight reel from a lets play with the commentary dubbed after editing. Regardless of you define the formula, it works. Austin's videos are consistently funny, his rambling style and personable charm carry his videos and though you only get a basic understanding of the game in question, you'll still be glad you watched the video. His game play channel is just a good, especially the two minecraft hardcore series that feature many great you tube faces.
See? The internet is not all American. A brilliant sketch comic most famous for the bizarre and random asdf series. Personally I prefer his live action sketches, they stand up better upon re-watching. Part of a group of British comics that make up some of the best comedy this country has to offer, the collaborations between these men and women are one of the main reasons I barely watched TV even when I had on in my room. There are things independent small teams can pull of better than multimillion pound company like the BBC.
It's a well known fact that a Jewish love god and a psychotic ninja cannot fail in any endeavour related to comedic music. This point is only proven further by Ninja sex party, Danny Sexbang and Ninja Brian take the most beautiful subject for music (carnal relations) and somehow not only manage to find humour in it, but also make it even more pure and perfect... Okay that's the opposite of true. Their music follows the life of Danny Sexbang, a man with more confidence than people betting against man united this season, as he manages to disappoint or simply disturb every woman he meets. Seriously though, I own both the NSP albums, they are hilarious and genuinely good musicians. The video game parody band Starbomb they formed by teaming up with Egoraptor (yeah he raps too) is just as awesome.
A very similar style to PBG but in my opinion at least smoother and just generally better. Jon was the first YouTube channel I was ever truly a fan of. I was subscribed to others, I watched bands channels a lot, but Jon was the first person to really win me over with nothing over than some stupid internet videos about games. Constantly improving on his style and delivery, I don't think that Jon has even neared his potential and yet he already stands head and shoulders above his peers in the YouTube reviewing niche.
I love this woman, she is truly one of the most brilliant things the internet age has ever produced (beating all social networks, internet pornography and even delivery motherfucking dominoes pizza!) So far all 8 previous entries on this list have got there purely through entertainment value, Laci not only manages to blow them all so far out of the water they dry out to the point of dust before landing, but she also endeavours to make the world a better place by educating the masses with over 150 videos on some of the most amazing, surprising, shocking, essential and enlightening pieces of information on the most important topic there is. Well over 99% of animals have a desire to do it, it's the driving force behind evolution, it's quite possibly the most enjoyable thing there is... You guessed it (or looked at the video for more than 0.006 seconds) she talks about sex. What makes Laci so good at this is that, as well as being genuinely qualified to, her ability to stick unyieldingly to a perfect standard of maturity without becoming an awkward sex ed lesson keeps the video engaging and not preachy. She is funny and she understands her audience, Laci's jokes manage to remain clean without going off topic, there's absolutely no awkwardness in her delivery on any subject, no matter how personal or seemingly taboo or unusual. Laci is adorable and deals with people who disagree with her, or act inappropriately towards her (either as a topic for a video, or frequently in response to one) in the same way she presents her show; with charm and maturity. That being said, she is a champion against true injustice, if I were a sexist or homophobe I would genuinely be afraid of this woman. She makes me giggle like a child and grin like an idiot while making me think like an adult and hopefully act a bit smarter (with her subject matter you'll have to be a special one of my readers to know if she's succeeded on that last one). Laci Green is an amazing woman and I love her to bits.
Honourable mentions
Before we see what could possibly top the love I have for Laci, I just want to point in the direction of the channels I cut from the list, be it because I spend less time on them, or they're a fun but simple time waster or whatever, these are still worth checking out... Go linkfest! Cosmo Jarvis, Game theory, Caddicarus, did you know gaming, Rubberninja, OneyNG and finally: everyone who ever posts a game grumps animated/remix, which leads us on neatly to...
Since I spent well over 2 hours sat with Emma watching Danny and Arin play video games today, I couldn't justify putting any other channel in this spot. Although they try not to admit it, the grumps are essentially a lets play channel like any other, except for one simple difference, there's two of them. The addition of the second host makes the grump channel like none other, the flow and chemistry of duologue makes it so much easier to watch and enjoy masses of game grumps without getting bored as you would watching a monologuing lets play. This channel recently overtook Arin's Egoraptor channel because, as I mentioned earlier, they can put out so much content as a lets play channel, so the best lets play channel on YouTube, is my number one channel overall.
I know, I haven't written anything here for a long time now, but I was getting ready to move to university when I wrote that last post so I've been busy, deal with it. Anyway, that's not related in the slightest to this post.
I was having one of those nights last night, the ones where my brain gets really fixated on one very specific random topic. Specifically the emotive meaning of words verses their actual meaning. I've talked about how cunt/pussy/vagina all have the same literal meaning, but obviously you'll get very different reactions if you use one instead of the other. Word to the wise, don't talk about a cunt in reproductive biology. (I don't do that module, just fyi, so that was just a joke, don't panic).
This time however I was thinking about positive, non sweary things (yeah, I was pretty shocked too). I was thinking about being referred to as "perfect" (no I was not called that, we both know that was a stupid question for you to ask). It's not something I say often, or at all really, because to me it feels cheap, meaningless even. No one is perfect, perfect is an absolute, perfect is an omnipotent high of goodness. You are not at that level, no one is, even Helena isn't (She spent new years at David Cameron's house without hitting him). Even if we talk about how physically attractive one person is to one other, the odds of you meeting their preference for every distinguishing feature is going to be billions to one. Certainly more than there are people on the earth, so odds on that there is no one perfect for you out there. Then we move on to everything else, mannerisms, opinions, accents, you really think that one person will have your number one choice for all of them?
And yet, after all this, I leave you with one of my rare positive endings. Who cares that your partner has flaws? We all have a fair few. The myth of perfection perpetuates the myth of the one. There is not one perfect person out there for you, but there are people out there who will make you happy, find one of them. Don't pretend they're perfect, just make sure they're beautiful to you, on every level.
I was talking to Heather about Syria and she asked me if I was scared. Unfortunately, it's got to the point where frankly, not be scared is illogical. We are on the brink of the third world war, it sounds like I'm being melodramatic but I honestly believe that.
Iraq, Afghanistan and Libya all had one difference to Syria that makes this so, no powerful countries tried to stop an invasion. Syria is backed by China and Russia, two of the largest and most powerful countries on Earth and both Permanent members of the UN security council.
Despite this fact, Obama drew a line in the sand, he made it very clear that America would not tolerate the use of chemical weapons... Chemical weapons were used. So, like it or not, Obama pretty much needs a war to maintain his credibility. I can tell you exactly what will happen if and when the American troops land in Syria, because it has already happened once before.
On Sunday the 28th of June 1914 a 19 year old Gavrilo Princip shot and killed the Archduke Franz Ferdinand of Austria, this is the WW1 equivalent of the sarin, the spark in the powder keg. So Austria invaded Serbia, much as America seems poised to invade Syria. In both the past and all too likely future events, Russia steps in to defend it's smaller ally. Obviously Austria called on its allies and Russia on its, leading to WW1. The same thing will inevitably happen in Syria, America will bring in its European allies and Russia will be joined by China and Iran.
For the third time the world's superpowers will be at war with one another, millions will die and the reason for the war starting will be lost among the fighting, the assassination of Franz Ferdinand was not enough to warrant the first world war, just as the use of sarin gas does not justify the third.
Something needs to be done in Syria, but invasion is not it.
My brother did a post on how dangerous it was for David Cameron to use a phrase used to refer to "the bad guy" to talk about Russia. Cameron was right though, not something I'll often say, Putin is clearly an evil and insane excuse for a human being.
For those of you who don't know, Vladimir Putin is openly moving to make being gay illegal. Any "promotion" of homosexuality in media is treated in the same way as pornography, because if your child sees two men kiss it's life will be permanently damaged won't it? No Russian child can be adopted in Britain now, or France, or Canada, or any other country that has legalised gay marriage. Even if a straight couple adopts them, this country is no longer allowed Russian children.
Next in line is Putin's master stroke, the one that if allowed to go through will forever be remembered as his legacy. He wants to legally remove all children from homes with a gay couple. Not only adopted, but biological children too.
Putin is the head of a broken and medieval regime. A lieutenant colonel of the KGB sitting in the Kremlin pretending the soviet union never fell. Public opinion means nothing to this man but governments and the UN might be able to do something. The plans off the Russian government show a blatant disregard of human rights, wars have been started for far less.
Russia is large and powerful, but not untouchable. Putin believes he can act like Muammar Gaddafi and Saddam Hussein with impunity. The civilised governments of the world and the UN need to let him know that this is not the case. Putin has been at the top of Russian government, in one form or another, since 1999. Clearly it's time for a change.
So naturally I'm in a temporary bad spot. My brain is not filled with the immediate threat of an exam tomorrow, panic leaving creates a vacuum that causes crazy to expand and fill the void. It's been causing me to act strangely bipolar (remember the exaggerations I mentioned earlier, this is one, that's not the condition I have) I'll be revising happily (well it's revision so not happily really) then I'll have the overwhelming urge to curl up in bed and fantasise about breaking things or hurting people. With the possible exception of my bathroom wall, I've not actually caused any harm with my anger yet, so that's all good.