I'm coining that term to refer to a person who is only attracted to homosexuals of the opposite sex, a term made necessary by the fact it applies to me. If you've read my post Nothing Worth Saying, or you know me in the real world, then you'll be aware of Katie and how bloody wonderful she is... Well except for one small issue, I told her I loved her on Sunday morning (just after midnight) and so, just as happened last time I confessed my love for someone, she came out. It was almost the same comment, they both said they were "80% lesbian", which I'm now pretty sure translates as "100% lesbian but not totally come to terms with it yet"
Now you should be able to appreciate just how impressive it is that I've managed to hit 2/2 closet homosexuals, but I want to know just how probable it is, so lets do the maths... Oh come on! It's that or I get depressing and mopey. The maths is better right? Good.
So the current scientifc estimate is that 1.4% of women are openly lesbian and 7.5% report "same gender desire"
Obviously they weren't out when I fell for them so the odds of me meeting them while they were in the closet is 7.5%^2=0.5625% More exactly that's the odds of you picking two random women and them both being in Narnia.
Then we have the more difficult question of "what are the odds of me falling in love with them strongly enough to admit it?" Even if we assume everyone has an equal chance after a certain point, how close is that point? So lets assume some simple numbers.
An apparent formula for people you meet in life is "Your age X 365 + leap years you've lived through X 2" for an average of meeting 2 people per day. I'm not very social so lets loose the "X 2"
18X365+4=6574
half it to eliminate men=3287
now lets assume I only care for about 1/20 of those 3000 women, that the rest are just passing acquaintances, classmates and whatnot=164.35=164 no decimalising of women.
Again, I'm taking estimates here, but apparently the average is 4 real loves in a lifetime, now all 4 coming before you're 19 is insane, so we'll quarter it (giving my lifespan a rough estimate of 76). therefore the odds of me falling in love with any one person I know is 1/164=0.6097%
So multiplying the two together gives us a final estimate of 0.006097X0.005625=0.0034299%
That gives us a rough estimate that there will be somewhere around 240,000 heterosexual homosexualphiles in the world. That's an insanely small number, I'm almost proud to be one of them.
Now before someone like Jonny, or Katie actually, she said stats was easy, turns up to criticise my maths, I want it to be clear that there are a lot of assumptions and estimates going on. Reasonably there could be anything from 1 (that's me) to 2,000,000 of us in the world. Of course if there's a fundamental error going on, feel free to point it out.
240,000 out of 7,000,000,000 though, that's nothing really is it? It's half the population of Liverpool, spread over the globe, I very much doubt that any one in the same situation will ever read this, but if you are a heterosexual homosexualphile, you are not alone!
Monday 29 April 2013
Friday 26 April 2013
The Myth of Selflessness
Is that not just the most cynical title you've ever read? Considering the title of my blog it's hardly likely that this is a problem for anyone now is it? If it is a problem for you let me know, so I can laugh at you. Now, to the cheery business of calling you all selfish cunts.
Selflessness is the act of performing an action that offers no benefit to you, and is in fact often detrimental to you, purely for the benefit of others. A fairly simple and certainly honourable cause to stand for, but think about this: if you enjoy acting selflessly, does the fact it makes you happy not therefore mean it can no longer be called selfless?
Maybe an example would help, so imagine yourself in this situation. Someone you care about texts you late at night, clearly in a bad mood. You stay up to try and cheer them up, but appear to be getting nowhere. Now you're losing sleep and almost certainly dragging your own mood down to try and help someone else, you're not the reason they're unhappy so have no obligation to help. It's a pretty selfless way to spend the night is it not?
So why do you do it? We all know the answer, it makes us happy to see the people we care about being happy. So when you go out of your way to make someone else happy, are you doing it for the sake of their mood, or your own?
You may come across as the loveliest fucking thing there is, but in reality we're all as selfish as each other. Don't get me wrong, you are still doing good, still helping others, but it is done for the sake of the person performing the action not the one benefiting from it.
Selflessness is the act of performing an action that offers no benefit to you, and is in fact often detrimental to you, purely for the benefit of others. A fairly simple and certainly honourable cause to stand for, but think about this: if you enjoy acting selflessly, does the fact it makes you happy not therefore mean it can no longer be called selfless?
Maybe an example would help, so imagine yourself in this situation. Someone you care about texts you late at night, clearly in a bad mood. You stay up to try and cheer them up, but appear to be getting nowhere. Now you're losing sleep and almost certainly dragging your own mood down to try and help someone else, you're not the reason they're unhappy so have no obligation to help. It's a pretty selfless way to spend the night is it not?
So why do you do it? We all know the answer, it makes us happy to see the people we care about being happy. So when you go out of your way to make someone else happy, are you doing it for the sake of their mood, or your own?
You may come across as the loveliest fucking thing there is, but in reality we're all as selfish as each other. Don't get me wrong, you are still doing good, still helping others, but it is done for the sake of the person performing the action not the one benefiting from it.
Tuesday 23 April 2013
Nothing Worth Saying
I know I've said I'm opposed to writing out of a feeling of obligation, but it's been almost a month so I'm going to, sorry. The problem is, I really have (as the the title suggests) nothing to write for you. It seems odd as so much shit has happened recently, especially in Korea and the US, but I just can't seem to get into my normal angry ranting mood that powers those kind of post.
So I'm deeply sorry, but to explain to you why (not that you're likely to care) I'm going to make one of my rare personal life posts. I won't blame you if you just move on now, go read the post about Helena or the pope again, they're much more fun. Those of you still here, I owe you a cookie.
I'm pretty certain the lack of anger and therefore the lack of posts can be traced back to the only significant change in my life for... ages, damn my life is exciting. For those of you who I don't know in the real world (I have hits from all over the world, but no idea why this is) the change I speak of is the addition of something small, welsh and exceptionally pretty to my life... No I have not brought a lamb! It is of course a person, a female person so I'll stop referring to her as it now.
I know what you're going to say "But Marshall, any time you have any interest in anyone you turn into the lamb you didn't buy!" Well firstly can you stop going on about the bloody lamb? More importantly, I somehow seem to have bypassed that, fucking irritating to everyone, phase. Maybe all my crazy and seeming irrational fears had a logical basis, because I'm feeling none of them now. I am as obsessive as ever, but not in a dramatic downward spiral this time, but all happy and excitable, like a small child at Christmas, so that's definitely better, but probably still irritating to some people.
Well fuck, I'd promised myself this wasn't going to be a post about Katie, but it sort of is now isn't it? Ah well you know what I'm like. One of you reading this might even be Katie, although you shouldn't be because I told her not to read my blog as there's a good chance of political opinions that are... Oh what's the word?.. Oh yeah, correct.
And just like that it's the blog you came here for.
Because correct is the right word for left wing politics, being left wing isn't some vapid hippy ideal, nor is it a totalitarian socialist nuthouse. It is the logical and moral belief in equal rights and equal opportunities, in a society where the people who put the most into society get the most out, as it should be. Right wing politics is the great system of "them and us". The rich own the money and have the power, therefore only the rich deserve money and power.
I am not a communist or any form of leftist radical, all I believe is that everyone should have the chance to make something of their life based purely on merit.
It's the same logic that props up my republican ideals, no one should be born into a position of unquestionable power, monarchy is the perfect example of true right wing politics. You are born, you therefore have the right to be head of state. That is not logic, that is madness, why is it still in effect?
So in summary: Katie is beautiful and causes a lack of anger in most things, but generates anger at politics... also, the royals are all a bunch of pointless tax draining cunts.
So I'm deeply sorry, but to explain to you why (not that you're likely to care) I'm going to make one of my rare personal life posts. I won't blame you if you just move on now, go read the post about Helena or the pope again, they're much more fun. Those of you still here, I owe you a cookie.
I'm pretty certain the lack of anger and therefore the lack of posts can be traced back to the only significant change in my life for... ages, damn my life is exciting. For those of you who I don't know in the real world (I have hits from all over the world, but no idea why this is) the change I speak of is the addition of something small, welsh and exceptionally pretty to my life... No I have not brought a lamb! It is of course a person, a female person so I'll stop referring to her as it now.
I know what you're going to say "But Marshall, any time you have any interest in anyone you turn into the lamb you didn't buy!" Well firstly can you stop going on about the bloody lamb? More importantly, I somehow seem to have bypassed that, fucking irritating to everyone, phase. Maybe all my crazy and seeming irrational fears had a logical basis, because I'm feeling none of them now. I am as obsessive as ever, but not in a dramatic downward spiral this time, but all happy and excitable, like a small child at Christmas, so that's definitely better, but probably still irritating to some people.
Well fuck, I'd promised myself this wasn't going to be a post about Katie, but it sort of is now isn't it? Ah well you know what I'm like. One of you reading this might even be Katie, although you shouldn't be because I told her not to read my blog as there's a good chance of political opinions that are... Oh what's the word?.. Oh yeah, correct.
And just like that it's the blog you came here for.
Because correct is the right word for left wing politics, being left wing isn't some vapid hippy ideal, nor is it a totalitarian socialist nuthouse. It is the logical and moral belief in equal rights and equal opportunities, in a society where the people who put the most into society get the most out, as it should be. Right wing politics is the great system of "them and us". The rich own the money and have the power, therefore only the rich deserve money and power.
I am not a communist or any form of leftist radical, all I believe is that everyone should have the chance to make something of their life based purely on merit.
It's the same logic that props up my republican ideals, no one should be born into a position of unquestionable power, monarchy is the perfect example of true right wing politics. You are born, you therefore have the right to be head of state. That is not logic, that is madness, why is it still in effect?
So in summary: Katie is beautiful and causes a lack of anger in most things, but generates anger at politics... also, the royals are all a bunch of pointless tax draining cunts.
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