I'm encouraging commenting on this post more than any other I've done. Our topic for today is "How much freedom should a teenager get from their parents?" Obviously if you're a teenager or the parent of one I'd like to know how things really work as well as how you think they should. Are you parents too controlling, or your children too rebellious? Are there any cases where it's the other way around, where you feel like your parents don't care about keeping you safe, or that your children can't function without you?
The two situations I'm aware of in enough detail to write about are mine (obviously) and one other who I won't mention by name but you all know who it is anyway. Rather nicely from a blogging point of view, they're very different situations. That's not a good thing from a personal point of view, for reasons you will see later.
Firstly, my family. My mother is fairly relaxed about when I go out, I am expected to sleep at my house and not drink on school nights, that pretty much covers it. If I can tell her who I'll be with, so she knows they're not strangers from the internet or whatnot, then all is well. If I go out early in the evening I don't get told when to be home for dinner, I get a text while I'm out saying "Will you be home for dinner at *whenever*?" The answer is generally yes, but I know that it is my choice. If I go out later than that I obviously get asked when I'll be home, if I don't know (I often don't, I don't know much) then that is the answer I give and it is fine. I don't even ask if people can come over any more, it's not uncommon for me to tell my mum "Heather is on her way over" and that's the first she knows of it. The system for the sister (15) is pretty similar, she just gets told to be home at 10, she of course turns up at 10:15 most nights (it's a 15 minute walk to Jamie Walker's house, coincidence? I think not)
I might be biased because it's a system I'm obviously very used to, but I think it works rather well. My mother makes sure I am safe, then lets me live my life. As long as I am with people I know and have a way of contacting/getting home, all is well.
The other situation I'm concerned with is ever so slightly different. Like I said, I may be biased by my own family, but lets be honest, if you have a 17 year old child that has been out and eaten dinner at someone else's house, but you still demand they be home for 7:30, you are an overprotective cunt. Frankly if you can't cope with your child being out of the house all the way to (gasp) 8pm! Then you're probably just going to drive your child away and cause arguments. I'm not saying all parents should let their children be out for as long as they want, but unless they stopped growing up at 12 years old, then 7:30 is a stupid curfew.
All parents (with a few exceptions) just what their children to be safe and I know that letting them do whatever they like whenever they like is madness, but bubble wrapping your child is just as bad. Protect your children, keep them safe and catch them when they fall, just give them the chance to make their own choices, they will make mistakes, let them, help them deal with it and make better choices, don't force them to hide those mistakes and make everything worse. A parent's job is to raise their child to be able to live their life, not to run their life for them.
I know a lot of parents will think this is just a teenager thinking they know better than any adult, but that's far from the case. (No one show this next part to my mother) I am so grateful to my mother for the way she treats me. I know if I do something stupid, like getting really terribly ill from drinking too much, I will be rescued and made better, then mocked about it mercilessly. Now I don't drink on an empty stomach, I made the mistake, I learnt from it. If I wasn't free to do so I would just make the mistake away from the safety net of my mother later in life, then I could end up hospitalised or worse.
This has not been an angry teenage rant, this has been logic. If you agree, or disagree, or have anything to say about teenagers and parents, then the comment box is right down there.
