Depression isn't sadness

Who want's an amateur psychology lesson? No one? Tough shit, it's about to get heavy up in this bitch.
When people say something that they don't like "makes me so depressed" it's a medical inaccuracy, like when people say something being out of place "makes my OCD act up." For the record, people who get worked up about things like that, are fucking retarded, people exaggerate shit all the time, if you can't deal with that you might have a genuine condition of your own. Depression is not an extreme form of sadness it is an impairment of brain functionality. Think of this way, alcohol is a depressant, but doesn't just make you sad. Of course sadness is a very common symptom of depression, especially in females.
The way I feel, often without any reason, is angry and alone. As I write this I'm in the middle of the only significant down time during my exam season, so it's no surprise I'm a little frayed and burnt out at the moment. Take away a stressor and you enter exhaustion. (What's that? A diagram? Shit yes!)
So naturally I'm in a temporary bad spot. My brain is not filled with the immediate threat of an exam tomorrow, panic leaving creates a vacuum that causes crazy to expand and fill the void. It's been causing me to act strangely bipolar (remember the exaggerations I mentioned earlier, this is one, that's not the condition I have) I'll be revising happily (well it's revision so not happily really) then I'll have the overwhelming urge to curl up in bed and fantasise about breaking things or hurting people. With the possible exception of my bathroom wall, I've not actually caused any harm with my anger yet, so that's all good.
One thing that annoys me is the logical coping mechanism my brain has started using. It's very hard to feel angry or isolated when you're in love, so that's become a big part of my resistance to my depression... Except I'm not in love, I'm single with no romantic interests. So two things have started happening. That weird, fluttering sensation you get in your chest when you look at someone you love? (Can someone explain what that is? Adrenaline maybe?) Well I've started getting that randomly, even when alone or midway through an exam, it's one of the most bizarre feelings ever and I have no idea how to deal with or prevent it, I just feel a little awkward until it passes. The second and more problematic love based 'coping' mechanism is to constantly and uncontrollably think about the people I've loved in the past... You know, the one who came out to me, the one who left me for someone else and the one who was never interested to start with? Yeah them. I admit, the constant flashbacks to my first (and all very vivid) memories of them always makes me smile, but of course my subconscious gets excited and starts shouting "And that was just meeting them! Think about how it progressed from th- oooh yeah..." Most of the time my romantic history is a fascicle comedy that always makes me giggle, when it's an attempt to alleviate feelings of loneliness however... It's less funny to me.
I have no way to end this post, so Imma just list some points made. Exaggeration is not a cause for offence in most cases, depression and sadness are not synonymous (Guess who spelt that right first try bitches!), the exhaustion stage of exam stress is a good time to go crazy, my brain isn't good at keeping me calm, I'm a dick to walls, my love life plays out like a badly written comedy movie. That is all, no go do something useful instead of reading my bullshit

It's a fucking word

Right, lets get this out of the way up front, I'm going to use the word nigger in this post. Some of you will be offended by this, some of you might even defy logic and label me a racist as a result, nothing is changed by that. I understand the historical prejudice attached to the word, but this is true of so many offensive terms and yet of the extensive list of these words, only nigger is condemned and censored/punished universally... Except it isn't, is it? Herein lies the issue, having a word that belongs to any one specific race is a racial divide in itself, and a catalyst for tensions to arise.
The simple fact is this: equality is not the same as reversing a prejudice. Taking a word used against a group and using it to define themselves, but forbidding anyone outside that group to use the word, is a form of segregation. You cannot logically argue with that, anything (be it a word, public office, right, or seat on a fucking bus) that is only for one subset of society creates a divide in that society. Saying that black people are the ones allowed to use the word nigger is akin to saying only straight people are allowed to get married: illogical, immoral, and the product of past evils.
Now sit the fuck down and pay attention, this is the important bit. I'm not saying that any use of the word nigger is ok, it is an offensive term with an especially dark past, but words like faggot, paki and the like are all (while rightly censored in a lot of public media) in common use. Not only gays use faggot, not only Pakistanis use paki. Derogatory terms are not acceptable in the context of purposefully attacking anyone for being different to you. Out of context however, the word is just that, a word, nothing more. People need to learn the difference between a word and a label.
In this post so far I have used the word nigger only 3 times before this paragraph, so one per paragraph. All of these uses are about the word itself, I have not referred to anyone as a nigger, or called black people as a whole "niggers," I never have done and never will (if you're about to type a comment telling me that this sentence is me doing just that... I'd prescribe a swift course of euthanasia applied via a back-flip into the grand canyon) because I understand the power that words have to separate and hurt people. This applies to the examples above among other terms, but that power to separate is shown just as much and I'd argue in just a dark light by splitting people into the groups "ok to say nigger" and "racist if they say nigger" based on nothing more than race. No one should be labled a nigger, and either no one should say nigger, or no one should be branded something they're not as a result of using the word.
Finally, regarding the event that lead to this post: I think that a rhyme with the line "catch a nigger by his toe" is inappropriate for use anywhere on the BBC, however veiled. That said, it's use does not make Jeremy Clarkson a racist and the whole thing has been blown hugely out of proportion.
Finally for real this time, there will be three types of people who react to this post: Firstly, those who agree with me, fairly self explanatory. Those who read this and take it as proof of my racism, these people are idiots. Then the ones I most want to connect with, people who disagree completely with what I say, but argue their case reasonably and respectfully. I accept that this issue is controversial and will remain so for generations I'm sure, so if you think that the word nigger should belong to black people, then by all means let me know why.